je ne sais pas

dear blog; ive realised im scared of words. maybe scared isnt the right word. maybe uncomfortable is. yes, thats the word. im uncomfortable with using words. words to express my thoughts, my ideas, whats going on in my head, whats going on in my life, so what i end up doing is using other peoples words and lyrics and sometimes the words i end up publishing isnt really a reflection of whats going on in my head. because if these words in the blog were to reflect me and even the pictures of my current self, im an incredibly complicated with extreme mood swings. i guess the things i have ended up publishing here is what i like and what touches me or what even i think is pretty and makes me say “wow”, i guess it has my idealistic part of me, of how i wish life was going for me, and other times its a true reflection of how i am feeling at that present moment. i dont feel like i use words well at all. everytime i write down anything i feel like that isnt the right message i wanted to convey, the right tone, the right words. basically, this blog is a mess, and i dont expect anyone to really make sense of it,  when i told one of my friends to have a look at my blog she asked me where my words were – this is the reason i started this post so here it is.. a post of me writing about words and my lack of such. my mind has been a mess and i feel like just writing and writing of what is going on here, but i feel so odd writing it here, i have no idea who you are or why your reading this or even how you got here. and i constantly change my mind if i want this blog to be personal or not. and im not even sure if these sentences link anymore and i dont really care if they do or not. i dont expect you to have read this far anyway. just scroll down and look at all the pictures i have blogged. i was about to write something personal just now but im too scared too. kudos to all the people that arent scared. anyway im sick of writing. maybe ill do a whole chunk of it tommorow. xx

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3 Responses to “je ne sais pas”

  1. I saw this and was like Woah she has words. haha
    I like this post!
    x kudos man

  2. You know, I’ve always felt like writing is like visual arts – “good” writing is subjective; everybody has their own style. So if you feel like you want to express yourself through words, don’t be afraid! Embrace it! If it means something to you then it is already quality writing, no matter what.

    –xo.

  3. Just Peachy Says:

    Sometimes it’s easier to write about personal things on your blog because your readers don’t know you. You might find someone who feels the same way or has been through the same things.
    I’m not a big “talk about my feelings” person but I can say things on my blog that I wouldn’t talk to my IRL friends about.
    Plus, you can always delete it if you change your mind =]
    Remember you should be writing for yourself, not us. We’re just priviliged enough to be able to read it. x

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