Archive for July, 2010

another one and i havent even finished the last

Posted in Uncategorized on July 27, 2010 by zabetheli

i know i havent finished my twenty day thing but hey i get distracted to easily and i came across this from jess’ tumblr, and well.. im going to steal it as any other natural blogger would. So lets see how it goes..

p.s ill finish the twenty day thing when i can be bothered. which looks like it will be tommorow xx

Day 1: Your Best Friend

Day 2: Your Crush

Day 3: Your parents

Day 4: Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5: Your dreams

Day 6: A stranger

Day 7: Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8: Your favorite internet friend

Day 9: Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10: Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11: A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12: The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13: Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14: Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15: The person you miss the most

Day 16: Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17: Someone from your childhood

Day 18: The person that you wish you could be

Day 19: Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20: The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21: Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22: Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23: The last person you kissed

Day 24: The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25: The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26: The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27: The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28: Someone that changed your life

Day 29: The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30: Your reflection in the mirror

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Posted in Uncategorized on July 26, 2010 by zabetheli

federal election: a woman vs a sexist

Posted in Uncategorized on July 26, 2010 by zabetheli

I like many other people in Australia sat down last night and watched The Great Debate ft. Julia Gillard current prime minister and part of the Labour Party and Tony Abbot the leader of the Liberal Party.

I watched it with the worm, a live graph showing the current audiences positive and negative responses. As expected Julia Gillard had a more positive reaction. Theres something about her I don’t really like I can’t put my finger on it yet though of what that might precisely be…

Maybe its the way she got to be the leader of this country. I like many others did not expect June 23 to be the day which we saw a new prime minister. It was sneaky and come on it was mean, poor Kevin Rudd. Okay hes made some bad moves but what about John Howard? How can Howard be prime minister for all those terms and a guy like Rudd get kicked out in his first term? If a party sees one single moment where they might lose the next election, they will just change their leader? What if the public doesn’t want that. Its not even up to public.

I see many women out there in the media and obviously in the worm where the graph was split by gender (who knows why) where the women had a much more positive reaction to Julia debating, why was this so? Okay maybe it could be because of the the guy on the other side of the debate – Tony Abbott but still. I feel like many women out there are only supporting her because she is a woman. “About time a woman ran this country”. Of course i feel like a woman could do the job and would love to see a woman running this country – but thats not what Im going to base my August 21 decision on, on gender alone. People should vote for Gillard if they think  shes is the woman for the job – by her policies etc not her gender.

But I dont really like Tony Abbott either, Gillard seemed to tackle and crush him to easily in the debate. It made him look weak. She always had a response, Tony made it seem that he was our only other choice if we did not like Labour and of course it isn’t, but why do they make it look like its so. And whats the deal with his stance on workchoices? Can he make his mind up, is it the phrase if he doign to keep it how its going or is he just going to make something under a new name? It was clear in the 07 election that Australians didn’t want it, so why is he still going on with it? He seems outdated and not aware that we are in the 21st century – his views on sex before marriage, er religion in politics? Thats not right. And he doesnt believe in climate change? That just sounds like ignorance to me. Tony Abbott in the debate in his opening statement said he knew the struggle that Australian families had, struggle? if your husband or father is a politician your not going to struggling compared to someone that is on the pension are you?

Politics isn’t really my thing, I dont really like any of them. I dont trust any of them. I dont think that Tony or Julia would carry out every single promise they are making now in their campaigns.

I think Ill just vote for Bob Brown the leader of the Greens – though my Aunty would look at me incredulously telling me that “it wont make a difference, vote for Labour or Liberal thats who it really is down too, not the greens – I mean who are they?”

a story

Posted in Uncategorized on July 25, 2010 by zabetheli

A story i read on a facebook note, just wanted to share…

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. 

My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband…

lighthouse

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on July 25, 2010 by zabetheli

yesterday i went to anglesea with my uncle and aunty. its was roughly a 90 minute drive from williamstown. its a costal town, a pretty popular tourist destination, theirs canoeing and all that along the river (it was too cold yesterday for me to be up for that sort of thing), we ate fish and chips and we ended up finding a lighthouse where we drank tea and scones.

xx

i miss you quite terribly

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on July 24, 2010 by zabetheli

as much as i love the city of melbourne, its culture, people, fashion and flair – i miss sydney.
i miss home. i miss my bedroom. i miss my favourite people in the whole world. i miss my mother. i miss frankie, my dog. i miss my best friend and it goes without needing to say that i really miss a certain boy.

if anything is going to keep me in sydney its the people that im surrounded with. yes i love these laneways, the clothes, the cafes, and the architecture but whats the good in all that if you are not surrounded by the people that mean the world to you?

my cousins are here and so are my uncle and aunty and its that will always want me wanting to comeback. but i know right now im happy to be a sydney sider, home is where the heart is. i have the most amazing people back there that make my life so much more colourful, that i cant live without right now.

sydney is an amazing place. as much as i compare the two cities it really shouldnt be like that. sydney has wonderful markets, my favourite vintage shops that doesnt cost the earth. we sydney siders have newtown, we have glebe, we have surry Hills, and bondi. the streets of sydney alone is awesome. sydney has culture. when i say melbourne does it doesnt mean that im saying sydney lacks one. they are both the similar in many ways but different somehow and i appreciate both.

sometimes i will say that i will move to melbourne. but deep down i dont think i will. ill always be a sydney girl by heart.

ill be home soon. wednesday is the day and i cant wait.

xx

Posted in Uncategorized on July 23, 2010 by zabetheli

dear adam,
ill make you love this cat one day.

x elizabeth