Archive for October, 2010

words

Posted in Uncategorized on October 28, 2010 by zabetheli

Describe a landscape as seen by an old woman whose disgusting and detestable old husband has just died. Do not mention the husband or death.

She breathes out.

And collapses on her knees hard.

Slumped on to the wet cold grass in an infinite open space.

The spine that once held this woman up was finally hers again.

After all these years of pent up inner struggle the release of such freedom was such an explosion. Her small frame slumped like a foetus on to the wet grass.

The woman in black breathed in the fresh dew. And once she did the fresh air of dawn filled into the deepest cavities of her lungs.

Lying in the dark with the morning slowly creeping into, to meet the daylight, her nightdress was slowly soaking up the wet grass.

She smiled this is the cathartic moment she thought would never come.

The inner struggle she disciplined herself to deal most of the years of being the wife she strived to be disappeared.

The grass; that wet, stiff, ageing grass. Never had it felt so amazing. She buried her fingers deep into the dark soil under the green carpet of grass, but her fingers were not in hiding. Rather, the harder she pressed, the more triumphant she felt. She looked up to the sky like a cat stretching towards the sun and she…

Breathed out. She breathed out all the years of forced devotion and she breathed in life, love and the new found freedom. Her breaths were hers again, breathing for herself alone. No longer did they belong to anyone else.

A tear rolls down the deep creases caused by so much pain and sadness marked across her face. The sun creeps to her face and meet the tear rolling down her cheek. The tear then meets her smile until slowly rolls down to meet the dew of the grass.

She twists the gold band around her finger, she slips it off. The feels the deep in grained mark on her skin the ring left. She feels the wedding band between her dirty fingers and clenches it in her fist.

Her small framed body stands up. She looks down at the grass hills that roll down behind her as she turns around. Two feet right under her and her arm outstretched behind in a clenched fist. As she looks at the hills behind her, she felt like this was the right way to say goodbye to those years. And she throws the wedding band hard and watches it fall into the distance.

She turns back and looks at the green grass outstretched in front of her.

“Hello.” she whispers.

we cannot direct the winds, but we can adjust our sails.

Posted in Uncategorized on October 11, 2010 by zabetheli

hi blog,

apologies for my absence, a lot of things have been happening. a lot of bad things and a lot of good things. such is life right?

i have learned that everything in this life is really never yours, they can be lost, stolen and leave.

my pet frankie got stolen the day after my last post, and that was quite hard for me. i miss her an extraordinary amount, all i hope is she is somewhere safe now. i have had the most amazing support from my boyfriend and my friends and cant thank them enough for being there for me.

xx